Friday, June 3, 2011

Karl Gardner: God Bless Bars and Overheard Conversations, Everywhere

Overheard conversation between forty-odd year old guy and gal:
Guy - "I've learned, like, five new words this week!"
Gal - "Oh? Like what?"
Guy - "Uhhhhh, there was, ummmm, 'conundrum'!"
Gal - "Can you spell it?"
Guy - "Let's see, 'q...u...'"
Me  (I just can't take it anymore) - "Conundrum's with a 'c'.  I think you're thinking of 'quandary'.

Situation number Two  (thirty seconds after the first event.  I'm just trying to pay my bill):

This guy is blitzed.  Has a bit of lean going on.  At first you could mistake it for a casual stance.  It's not. He's not quite certain where his feet are in relation to the floor.  Still drinking a beer, he asks, "Can I cash out?"
The bartender hands him the check.  The guy signs it, passes back the receipt and pen, and continues to sip his beer. The bartender then hands me the pen.  Maybe five seconds have passed since the first guy paid.  This same guy looks back at the bartender, and AGAIN asks, "Can I cash out?"
Bartender looks at him for a second, raises the check. "You just did."
"Oh. Really?"  Looks down at his glass, then back up. "What about this one?"
"Awesome!"  And then he stumbles off into the great unknown.

Thank you, St. Pete bars.

Karl Gardner is a guest contributor on D3P and will be coming out with his own blog soon.  Stay Tuned!

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