I have been in the great state of Texas for the last few months producing a feature film. I do not get out of the house very much because of the work I'm doing. On the rare occasion that I do, I end up running into some of the most God-fearing people I've ever seen (and also some of the ugliest). I have to say, if Jesus is taking all these people into his house, then he must have a huge heart, he must be blind, and he must not have a no shirt-no shoes-no salvation policy.
My retort was simple and to the point, "Obviously ma'am I did not hear you, or I would not have asked you to repeat yourself." Of course I heard her, but I just wanted to have her say it directly to my face. She continued to stare at me for a moment until I said to her "Ma'am, thank you for your statement, but I don't believe brushing your teeth is a sin."
The stare continued and then she huffed a heavy puff of breath in my direction (which smelled like Cheetos) then said, "You ain't a sinner cuz of your toothbrush. You a sinner cuz you wear no socks."
Really? Was she was staring at my feet so intently to notice that I wasn't wearing socks inside my sneakers?
This angry woman of God suddenly yelled back at me, "Boy, you'll burn for this!"
I shook my head in disgust as people looked at this crazy lady who was pulling her cart backwards down the isle in an attempt to follow me. I turned toward the portly woman whose flapjack breasts were tucked haphazardly in the short shirt that accentuated her C-section scar and boob-sweat stains. I said, "I believe it's more of a sin to not wear a bra when shopping in Wal-Mart. Good Luck on your journey ma'am, I hope Jesus gives you a free pass for your stupidity."
Normally I would not reply to such a crazy person, but I just could not let her Cheeto-filled breath and floppy breasts get the better of me. I realized then why I do not go out often here in Texas. Again, it's nothing against the entire state, just some of the small town people who live here.
Money is saved in a Wal-Mart, not souls. So if you happen to be a God fearing Christian, and you think that someone not wearing socks is a sinner, please keep your comments to yourself. Just Pray for them before you go to bed with your adulterous husband. And don't forget to brush your teeth.